did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You may now shotgun with the bride
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
