tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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