That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
