how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
