I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
