is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
