There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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