True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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