someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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