are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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