Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
