it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
