You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber