rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize