I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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