Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
