I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
