it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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