Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
