Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You are a genius and a whore.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
