That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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