if you like me you must not know who I am
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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