Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
