i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
