Do you still have your period?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she pinky promised me she was 18
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
