he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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