We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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