there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
