Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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