It's Friday. Sex?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
