Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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