Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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