Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
