new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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