so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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