The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
