Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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