I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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