We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
