i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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