idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
