What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
