And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
