So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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