she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
