I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
