Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
