you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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