You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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