Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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