my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I AM VODKA MAN
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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