Well apparently he's into motor boating.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
