Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
