You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
