Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just tell him i said nine months
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sorry my hands just texted you
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
