Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish i was in the wii world.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
