you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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