I should be sponsored by Trojan
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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