Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
